Ferns.
When we lived in Chicago, my wife and I would spend hours in the Fern Room at the Garfield Park Conservatory during the depths of winter as a cheap way to get some heat and humidity. Now we live in the PNW, where we have ferns everywhere, and I don’t look at them the same way anymore. After two days of pruning and a number of piles of refuse, we have finally removed the old leaves on about, oh, a quarter of the ferns in the main part of the yard — a shitload [1] of work. We also cleared some hold outs from this winter’s English Ivy removal party with my dad. The yard looks much better.

[1] From Urban Dictionary:
The Shitload first became common usage during World War II. Farmers, who’s sheds were previously full of shit were called upon to empty their shit-filled barns in order to allow for the making of weapons.
A Shitload refers to between 1 and 4 tons of equine or bovine excrement (that’s horse and cowshit to you and me). More specifically Shitload describe the overfullness of the trailers used by farmers.
I’ve got a shitload of hay in my barn.
by Graham Nigel Goddard-Hill The West Country Jul 15, 2005
About this entry
You’re currently reading “Ferns.,” an entry on I’m not here.
- Published:
- 05.12.08 / 3am
- Category:
- gardening
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